Dear Parishioners:
I recently spoke with a parishioner who was very troubled because her children and grandchildren had not been to Church in many years. She was distraught at the thought that her beloved children had lost the Faith, and her unbaptized grandchildren did not even have it yet to lose! I don’t think this is unusual today. Many good and faithful Catholics have seen and continue to see their children drift away from the Faith. Sometimes aggressively, but more often apathetically. It happens more often than I like to think. Sadly for me, it’s happened in my own family.
SAINT MONICA BY BENOZZO GOZZOLI, 1464–65
Lapsed and fallen away Catholics are not a modern phenomenon — the life of St. Monica teaches us that. Her son, Augustine, rejected the Faith she had taught him as a child and joined a peculiar pagan sect. Next Saturday, August 27, we celebrate the feast of St. Monica. She is the patron saint of patience and mothers. Her holiness in her life led to her husband’s and mother-in-law’s conversion, two children entering religious life, and her son Augustine becoming a Doctor of the Church.
Her continual prayer for her son and imploring others to pray on his behalf are part of his faith story detailed in St. Augustine’s Confessions. We, too, must sustain such persistent and patient prayer throughout our lifetime for all we love who are far from the Faith.
.An excellent and helpful book was written a few years ago by Maggie Green, a pen name for a Catholic wife and mother who waits for some of her children to return to the Faith. It is entitled Saint Monica Club: How to Wait, Hope, and Pray for Your Fallen-Away Loved Ones. I recommend it to all those who lament the lapsed Catholics in their family.
For those who join the “St. Monica Club” as a result of having people you love far from the Faith, Maggie Green recommends a few rules to follow with your involuntary membership. First is to pray for them and to pray without ceasing. Call upon the intercession of the saints, enlist their guardian angels, ask the Holy Souls in Purgatory; ask the souls you’ve known who have died to pray that these prodigals may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
St. Augustine, fresco by Sandro Botticelli, 1480; in the Church of Ognissanti, Florence.
Take up fasting, make sacrifices, and make them a spiritual offering for your lapsed family member. St. Monica gave alms and offerings until told not to and made that obedience an offering. Surrendering some small comfort or pleasure is a way to mold and conform our will to God’s will.
Continue to love your prodigal children. Be with them at meals and special events, and pray in their presence whether they will or not. Always be fully present and authentically faithful when with them. Do not cease to put on Christ in their presence, but present the Lord in their presence by the love with which you welcome them.
Ask others to pray with you for them, even if they do not know the one you love is far from the Faith. Petitionary prayer is powerful. Each of us who prays for another is a person helping to reveal our trust that God hears our prayers and seeks to heal those we love beyond even what we ask.
Be persistent! Members of the St. Monica Club understand that God uses all our lifetimes to court each soul and that no moment of prayer, love, sacrifice, or service is ever wasted. We should never feel discouraged because we know God longs for their company at the great wedding feast more than we do.
Ary Scheffer: Saints Augustine and Monica 1795-1858
St. Monica saw her son St. Augustine convert fully into the Faith at 31. God is willing to wait a lifetime for our friendship and Faith. Our job while waiting with him is to pray for the grace to be present as needed to others and to keep from blocking anyone’s vision of Christ by our words, actions, silence, or inaction. We must always wait in joyful hope and loving witness.
Begin your prayer for fallen-away children today with this Prayer to St Monica:
“Exemplary Mother of the Great St. Augustine, you perseveringly pursued your wayward son, not with wild threats but with prayerful cries to heaven. Intercede for all parents in our day so they may learn to draw their children to God. Teach them how to remain close to their children, even the prodigal sons, and daughters who have sadly gone astray. Amen.”
Be well. Stay safe. Do good. God Bless. Go Sox!!! St. Monica, pray for us!